So I’ve been reading Nasty Work. Nasty Work by Ericka Hart to be exact. And they have some discussion questions at the end of each chapter. I was finishing up chapter 3 while I was nestled in the park. Going over the discussion questions. I love a discussion question now. And I thought….instead of rambling into the air I can share my answers with yall. I’m taking my time with it! As in these’s may be sporadic, but I’m gonna finish. I highly recommend this book.
Let’s get into it.
What are you hating about your body that is directly linked to anti-Blackness?
The relationship I have with my hair. I do not hate my hair, I hate how anti-Blackness has impacted the relationship I have with my hair. I have 4C hair and messages about my hair type are not kind. I was once told that I look like a slave while wearing my natural hair. That comment was said years ago, but is coming up for me as I intentionally wear my natural hair out. I wear it in a short fro. I’m wearing my hair like this because I want to. Because this is the way my hair grows. Because I don’t feel like contorting my hair to be comfortable for the eyes of others.
But back to negative messaging, I’m over thinking that shrinkage is something I should be fighting against. As long as my hair is moisturized and healthy I’m good. I have been putting little twists in my hair to show off length, but there are some nights I don’t feel like it. So it’s bonnet on and I deal with whatever shape is made in the morning.
(I’m working on a big ole post about this. Check back in eeehh *makes up and down motion with hands* around the end of the month or early June.)
What lies have you been told about our body/genitals that are tied to the conventions of normalcy?
“Pussy gotta be hairless at all times.”
“Legs should be shaved.”
“Hair up under your armpits? Nasty”
“Hair on the vagina is nasty.”
“You can only have a big booty and big boobs. Your stomach must be flat.”
“Good hair.”
How can divorcing yourself from hating that part of you be an act of resistance?
I think this is going back to the first question. My therapist and I often talk about the little things I do that I don’t want to be radical, but are. Wearing my 4C hair out in a world that would rather me make my hair palatable for others is radical. It’s resistance. Not being concerned to fight shrinkage is resistance. Yes, I fluff my hair out, but I’m trying not to look at shrinkage as this horrible thing I should constantly be worried about. The beauty industry thrives off of selling us items to “fix” what we have been told is “unsightly”. I’m doing work to unpack why I am drawn to certain products.
How have you (consciously or subconsciously) colonized your body?
Dieting. Thinking that my opinions on race shouldn’t be shared if it makes white people uncomfortable. Colonizing both body and mind. Suppression of self and suppression of emotions. Fuck all that. I enjoy the work I do and I’m damn good at the work I do.
How can your intention to honor your body on your own terms be supported by your community?
Thankfully my community is supportive. I don’t have to ask much of them because they just let it rock. I’m allowed to be vulnerable. I’m allowed to be. To simply exist as is. I can show up as my complete authentic self. I enjoy conversation, and had the pleasure of talking to friends about their individual natural hair journeys. I love when stories are shared amongst my friend group/community. I think story telling is important. It was delightful to take a walk with some friends and discuss our natural hair.
I had the pleasure of attending Ericka Hart’s Philly stop for their book tour. Literally woke up and bought the ticket that same day. I love being in spaces with fellow academics, folks who are passionate about sex education, folks who are passionate about story telling. That room was packed and it was beautiful to see.
I remember someone asking Ericka what chapter we should sit with the longest. She said chapter 7 was the one. Chapter 7: A Country Not Founded on Consent. Chile, I’m only on chapter 4 and I can’t imagine the feels I’m going to sit with when I get to that one. BUT! Now I can come here and break it all down with ya’ll.
We gotta unpack this nasty work together. Thinking critically about how systems have impacted the relationship with have with self is important. Radical work. This is a series that I will keep going, and I encourage you answer these questions in the comments!
Thank you so much for reading and I’ll see yah in the next one💕
Lingerie Slayer 
Thoughts?