“Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?”
Why did I log in to write a post about mental health and see this lil prompt at the top. I’m sure I’m not special and anyone who writes on this platform probably saw it. Makes sense seeing as how we’re ending the year in a few days.
Instead of a sad post, this post may be a lil ✨uplifting✨
I’m ending the year a grad student. So many other things happened, right? But this, this right here. A wild concept to me. I put my all into those entrance exams and I was anxious the entire way. I was anxious from start to finish. That admissions letter felt so good.
I’m an educator.
I’m a blogger.
I’m a content creator.
Yes, I had some doubts about my age and time. But I’m going to keep getting older and time is going to keep moving. I made peace with getting older. There are societal pressures that tell you how you should look, where you should be in life, when you age out of certain hobbies. In the grand scheme of things that is complete bullshit. You grow. You learn. You have new experiences.
It’s never too late. It’s never too late to pursue that job or that degree. Know that.
Concerning my education, I haven’t wanted something that bad in a minute. After 29 years of walking this earth I now realize that education is a privilege. The education I’ve had the opportunity to receive is a privilege.
I study sexuality and everything that comes with it because it’s such an important part of our lives. It’s integral to who we are as human beings. I love the research that I’m doing and I love the classes that I’m taking. I got accepted in August and I ended my first semester in November. I made school a priority and I was able to adapt to a new schedule with ease.
It wasn’t this easy overnight transition. The body keeps the score (remind me to finish that book) so I missed my period for an entire month. I thought there was something wrong physically. In a sense there was. My body was holding onto trauma from past experiences of being on a college campus. It was an annoying mental block at the time. I wasn’t depressed, but I sure was anxious. Imposter syndrome was creeping up on me. I was questioning my intelligence.
I wasn’t the only one. Several peers discussed their anxieties. Their hopes. Their fears. Our humanity.
I’m so happy that I was able to share space with so many different personalities and view points. Some conversations we’ve had I will always remember.
With that being said, I’m truly looking forward to next semester. Excited to see what books I’ll be reading. I’m currently in bed with a sinus infection turned ear infection 🙂. That halted most of my plans because I feel like crap. I haven’t taken a sick day in quite some time, funny it would come the end of the year.
So I’m in bed minding my business and playing the sims.
Hopefully by time you read this, I’m not feeling like a zombie. I haven’t been able to do much of anything. It stressed me out at first, but if I need rest, I need rest.
I’m excited to see what 2023 has to offer. 2022 was great and it can only get better. Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you next year!!✨💕✨