Childfree: someone that doesn’t want children, someone that doesn’t plan on having children.
I have never felt the urge to give birth to a child, raise a child, and build my life around taking care of said child.
I knew I didn’t want kids when I was around high school age. At this time I thought the most raising a child I would get out of life was through adoption. Giving birth and being pregnant never appealed to me. Know the idea of adoption has gone right out the window. I absolutely do not want kids.
Growing up as a Black femme presenting person, the assumption that I would/should have children is loud. “Oh, you’ll change your mind.”, has been said to me too many times to count. Here I sit at 32 with my mind unchanged.
It feels so fucking good to say I don’t want children. It’s not for me, and that should be enough.
As far as the things inside my body go that would allow me to have a child. I’m slowly trying to figure out how I can get my uterus on up outta here. Birth control does a solid job of handling the no bleeding, but in the future I may require something permanent. I was asking my doctors about a hysterectomy in my 20s. Of course they hit me with the, “Oh it’s a liability on our end if we do the procedure and then you want to have kids blah blah blah blah.” *shakes fists to a confused ceiling* It’s something to revisit when I have the mental capacity to deal with.
I asked my mother how she felt about not having grandchildren. She’s good. She has never pressured me to have children. Has never bothered me about a “biological clock”. And I am beyond thankful for that.
My father has two children from a previous relationship and they both have kids of their own. This matters as to why I asked my mother and not him. If my parents had voiced to me that they wanted me to have kids, it wouldn’t have changed my mind. It probably would have created emotional turmoil, but I would work through that with no children.
I wanted to make this post because so many things are assumed about my body. SO. MANY. FUCKING. THINGS. Especially since I’ve been way more open about my PMDD and birth control. I take birth control for my PMDD and that along with my meds for anxiety has truly given me joy. Immense joy. Joy to not have a period and joy to not be dealing with the heavy emotions of PMDD.
This is a post telling you what I want for my body. What I don’t want for my body. What I will not do with my body.
That’s all I have to say for this one. It’s short and any more time spent on it would be surrendering it to the drafts for who knows how long.
Also also Happy Trans Day of Visibility!
Spent my day at the spa reading essays from Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good in between massage and sauna time. For no particular reason other than that I needed some time to myself to rest. I’m feeling quite relaxed and I’ll probably spend the rest of my evening reading a few more things before I immerse myself in some horror. Oooo I just remembered that I planned on reading the Battle Royale manga. I’ve read the book, seen the movie, but never got into the manga. I didn’t even know there was one.
I just got hip to Libby because I truly can’t hold anymore books/manga/comics in this house. My shelves overfloweth. Battle Royale: Enforcers is a manga that picks up with a new class back on the same island.
I could talk about Libby all day so let’s wrap this one up😅
Thank you for reading, thank you for being here. I’ll see yah on the next post.
Lingerie Slayer 
Thoughts?